Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory/Transcript

[We fade in to a shot of a chocolate liquid mixing, as "DAVID L. WOLPER Presents" appears, before it changes to the film's logo. More shots of how chocolate products are made as the film stars' names appear one-by-one, then the rest of the opening credits. The last shot focuses on the large rows and columns of the Wonka Bars as "Directed by MEL STUART" appears. The screen fades out.]

"The Candy Man"

[We fade in to a local European village where its clock tower strikes its bell. Several schoolchildren excitedly run from the school. As the camera pans, it shows them running to the candy shop. Inside, they are all yelling for a chocolate.]

Bill: All right, all right, all right, what's it going to be? A triple cream cup for Christopher . . . A Squelchy Snorter for Otis . . . A Sizzler for June Marie . . . And listen! Wonka's got a new one today.

Kids: What is it?

Bill: This is called a Scrumdidilyumptious Bar.

Winklemann: [mispronouncing] Scrumbibilyunctious Bar? How does he do it?

Bill: My dear boy, do you ask a fish how it swims?

Winklemann: No.

Bill: Or a bird how it flies?

Winklemann: No.

Bill: No sirree, you don't! They do it because they were born to do it. Just like Willy Wonka was born to be a candy man, you look like you were born to be a Wonkarer.

[Singing] Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew. Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two. The candy man, the candy man can. The candy man can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good. Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh. Soak it in the sun and make a strawberry–lemon pie.

Kids: The candyman?

Bill: The candyman. The candyman can The candyman can cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good. Willy Wonka makes everything he bakes. Satisfying and delicious. Talk about your childhood wishes. You can even eat the dishes. [several shots show the kids eating various candy products] Who can take tomorrow, dip it in a deam. Seperate the sorrow and collect up all the cream? The candyman...

Kids: Willy Wonka can.

Bill: The candyman can cause he mixes it with love... And makes the world taste good... And the world tastes good... cause the candyman thinks it should.

[A young boy with blonde hair named Charlie has been watching through the window. He sadly walks away, toward Mr. Jopeck's newsstand.]

Charlie: Hi, Mr. Jopeck.

Mr. Jopeck: Ah, come along Charlie. You're late.

Charlie: It's payday, Mr. Jopeck.

Mr. Jopeck: You're right. [He pays Charlie a fair amount of money, before handing him the papers.] There you are.

Charlie: Thanks.

Mr. Jopeck: Say hello to your Grandpa Joe.

Charlie: Okay.

[Charlie runs down the streets, passing newspapers to the houses, apartments and even in yards where one of them lands in a woman's basket. Charlie continues with his job]

Nobody in, Nobody Out

[Later that evening, Charlie comes across the gates of Wonka's factory; they has remained shut to the public. The factory still runs with smoke coming from the chimney and neon signs light up. A voice startles Charlie from behind.]

Tinker: Up the airy mountain
Down the rushing glen
We dare not go a-hunting
For fear of little men.
You see: Nobody ever goes in, [he points to the factory where Charlie takes another look at, before turning back to the Tinker.] . . . and nobody ever

comes out! [He then walks away, bringing his equipment he has brought with him. Charlie watches him walking away before running back to his house.] [In the Buckets residence, Grandpa George (who is asleep), Grandma Georgina, Grandpa Joe and Grandma Josephine are bed-ridden with Mrs. Bucket serving them to make them comfortable.]

Grandma Josephine: Charlie's late.

Grandpa Joe: He works too hard for a little boy. He should have some time to play.

Mrs. Bucket: Not enough hours in the day. With the four of you bedridden for the past twenty years, it takes a lot of work to keep this family going.

Grandma Josephine: If only his father were alive.

Grandpa Joe: Soon as I get my strength back, I'm gonna get out of this bed and help him.

Mrs. Bucket: Dad, in all the years you've been saying you're going to get out of that bed, I've yet to see you set foot on the floor.

Grandpa Joe: Well . . . maybe if the floor wasn't so cold.

[Charlie arrives back at the house.]

Charlie: Hi, everybody!

Grandpa Joe: Wake up!

Grandma Josephine: Wake up!

Grandpa Joe: Wake up; Charlie's home!

Charlie: Grandpa George. [He kisses him.] Grandma Georgina. [Kisses her.] Grandma Josephine. [Kisses her.] Grandpa Joe. [Kisses him. Looks at Joe's bowl of cabbage water.] Is this your supper, Grandpa?

Grandpa Joe: Well, it's yours too, Charlie.

Charlie: I'm fed up with cabbage water. It's not enough!

Grandma Georgina: Charlie!

Grandma Josephine: It's all we have.

Grandpa Joe: What are you saying?

Charlie: How about this? [Produces a loaf of bread that he bought.]

Mrs. Bucket: Charlie, where'd you get that?

Grandpa Joe: What difference does it make where he got it? Point is: he got it.

Charlie: It's my first payday.

Mrs. Bucket: Good for you, Charlie. We'll have a real banquet.

Charlie: Mom . . .? Here's what's left. You keep it. Except for this. From now on, I'm going to pay for your tobacco.

Grandpa Joe: No one's going to pay for it, Charlie. I'm giving it up.

Mrs. Bucket: Come on, Dad, it's only one pipe a day.

Grandpa Joe: When a loaf of bread looks like a banquet, I've no right buying tobacco.

Charlie: Go on, Grandpa. Please take it.

[Later that night, when Mrs. Bucket is asleep, Charlie is explaining to Grandpa Joe about the Tinker.]

Charlie: After I finished my paper route, I was in front of Wonka's. There was this strange man there. I think he was a tinker. He was standing right behind me, looking up at the factory. Just before he left he said, "Nobody ever goes in, and nobody ever comes out."

Grandpa Joe: And right he was, Charlie. Not since the tragic day that Willy Wonka locked it.

Charlie: Why'd he lock it?

Grandpa Joe: Because all the other chocolate makers in the world were sending in spies--dressed as workers!--to steal Mr. Wonka's secret recipes. Especially Slugworth . . . oh, that Slugworth, he was the worst! Finally Mr. Wonka shouted, "I shall be ruined! Close the factory!" And that's just what he did. He locked the gates and vanished completely. And then suddenly, about three years later, the most amazing thing happened. The factory started working again, full blast! And more delicious candies were coming out than ever before. But the gates stayed locked so that no one, not even Mr. Slugworth, could steal them.

Charlie: But Grandpa, someone must be helping Mr. Wonka work the factory.

Grandpa Joe: Thousands must be helping him.

Charlie: But who? Who are they?

Grandpa Joe: That is the biggest mystery of them all.

Good Day Sir!/Passing the Test

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?

Wonka: I am extraordinarily busy sir.

Grandpa Joe: I just wanted to ask about the Chocolate. The lifetime supply of Chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?

Wonka: He doesn't.

Grandpa Joe: Why not?

Wonka: Because he broke the rules.

Grandpa Joe: What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we Charlie?

Wonka: WRONG SIR, WRONG. Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states QUITE CLEARLY that all offers shall become null and void IF, and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy: "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM!" IT'S ALL THERE, BLACK AND WHITE, CLEAR AS CRYSTAL! YOU STOLE FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS! YOU BUMPED INTO THE CEILING, WHICH NOW HAS TO BE WASHED AND STERILIZED, SO YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

Grandpa Joe: ...You're a crook... you're a cheat and a swindler! THAT'S what you are! HOW COULD YOU DO A THING LIKE THIS?! Build up a little boy's hopes and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER-

Wonka: I SAID GOOD DAY!

Grandpa Joe: Come on, Charlie, let's get out of here. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.

Charlie: Mr. Wonka.

[Charlie leaves the Gobstopper on Willy Wonka's desk.]

Wonka: So shines a good deed in a weary world. Charlie... my boy... You won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would; I just knew you would. Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me. Come in, Mr. Wilkinson. Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson.

[Wilkinson--formerly known as Slugworth--enters.]

Wilkinson: Pleasure.

Charlie: Slugworth.

Wonka: No, no, that's not Slugworth. He works for me.

Charlie: For you.

Wonka: I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test. You won!

Grandpa Joe: Won what?

Wonka: The jackpot, my dear sir, the grand and glorious jackpot.

Charlie: The chocolate?

Wonka: The chocolate, yes, the chocolate, but that's just the beginning. We have to get on, we have to get on; we have so much time, and so little to do. Strike that. Reverse it. This way please.

Wonkavator

Wonka: We'll take the Wonkavator. Step in, Charlie. Grandpa Joe, sir. This is the Great Glass Wonkavator.

Grandpa Joe: It's an elevator.

Wonka: It's the Wonkavator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkavator can go sideways and slantways and longways and backways...

Charlie: And frontways.

Wonka: ...and squareways and frontways and any other ways that you can think of. It can take you to any room in the whole factory just by pressing one of these buttons. Any of these buttons. Just press a button and ZING! You're off. And up until now I've pressed them all... except one. This one. Go ahead, Charlie.

Charlie: Me.

[He pushes the button.]

Wonka: There it goes. Hold on tight. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen. Faster, faster... If we don't pick up enough speed, we'll never get through.

Charlie: Get through what.

Wonka: Ah-ha!

Grandpa Joe: You mean we're going ...?

Wonka: Up and out.

Grandpa Joe: But this roof is made of glass. It'll shatter into a thousand pieces. We'll be cut to ribbons!

Wonka: Probably. Hold on everybody. Here it comes!

[The Wonkavator crashes through the roof and flies into the sky.]